sonadora9: From SafetySuit's "Stay" video: Doug Brown (Stay Doug 07)
[personal profile] sonadora9
I am apparently going to use this post to try to get a start on writing somewhere new.

Like so many others who recently joined Dreamwidth, I suppose you could call me a Livejournal refugee. Apologies for what is probably diminishing the value of the term "refugee," but as it's the term that seems to be currently in use, I'll use it and say, "Hey, at least you know what I mean."

So this will be yet another online journal/blog migration for me. I'll be honest, I've started many, many, many over the years. But really, only two have ever really mattered, ever had much staying power.

Apologies again, 'cause this is probably going to get boring.

I started on Xanga, in high school. Something like the fall of 2002 or the spring of 2003. (Well, no, I REALLY started on, a year before, but left because ... well, I wasn't going to be in high school forever, and teenopendiary just sounds so ... high school-y, at best. So I switched to Xanga.)

It was fun for a while. I made the best of it, but the truth was, I wanted to be on Livejournal. Unfortunately, you had to either pay for it, or have a friend invite you with a code. At the time, my Xanga was ... really, entirely a private thing. No one knew I had it, and no one would know. It was wear I had all my angsty teen writing sessions, all my "nobody understands me!" posts, all my "deep" and "disturbed" self-loathing that "no one in my real life would get or know how to handle."

I didn't know anyone on Livejournal at the time, but even if I did, the last thing I would do would be to ask them to invite me with a code ... so that they could know I had an online journal and read it and know all that I was writing in my off-time.

By the time I got to college, I'd created a Xanga that was more compliant with my real life. I had no problems sharing my username and link with the friends I was making, or the friends I'd had in high school.

Of course, I was also meeting friends who weren't totally capable with following me on Xanga, initially, because they were Livejournal users. Some created Xangas, as they were free and all, so I was still able to make connections with my new friends online, but I still was envious of those with Livejournals. Unfortunately, I was also a freshman in college, the lowest on the social ladder, by my own interpretation, and it would be unbelievably pushy of me to ask someone to invite me when they were clearly above me on the ladder.

Then, just before I came back to campus for my sophomore year (August, 2004), I discovered that you no longer needed money or codes to have a Livejournal. Sure, you could use money to have a better experience -- but you could have a basic and standard account, for absolutely free.

I started one up, and waxed poetic (or, really, just rambled) about going back to college, camping with my family, and the forthcoming arrival of a new cousin of mine. Both on my newly created Livejournal, and the Xanga. I would post to my LJ, excited that I had an LJ to post to, then post to Xanga because by now, I had made so many friends on that platform, and besides, I could link and HTML my way on a seven-day road trip over there -- while LJ left me feeling like if I got the keys in the ignition and the car backed out of the driveway, I had more than taxed myself enough mentally for the day. I would post to Xanga, then post to LJ because how could I not use my shiny new toy when I'd been coveting it for so long?

In the end, I stopped using my Xanga, though it was a slow process. I left without much fanfare, with no speech-giving or farewells -- my last post probably still sits, with references to future happenings, active conversations with other Xanga users, indicating an eventual return that simply won't happen.

But for a year or two, I kept pretty active at both sites, posting content for friends at both places, keeping myself amused with my own writings on both platforms. But the friends on Xanga drifted away -- they stopped posting themselves, they stopped reading and commenting, they stopped trying to keep up with me.

Ultimately, the years of back-and-forthing left me with more going on for me on the Livejournal side of things than the Xanga side of things. It wasn't hard not to go back again.

And now, here I am. It's 2010, and on a few occasions in the past year, something has happened at Livejournal to make me think that I'd rather not be there. People mentioned Dreamwidth as an alternative each time, and each time I thought, "Maybe I should check it out ...."

Discouraging me was not only the fact that Dreamwidth, too, requires invite codes or money, as Livejournal did "back in the day," but that I'd had my Livejournal for so long by this point, too. I mean, it's been about six years since I started the thing. I have almost 4,200 posts over there right now.

Not only that, but while my friends list is slowing down the posting action, it's still pretty active.

So ... here I am. Sort of testing the waters of the Dreamwidth experience, but not wanting to jump ship from Livejournal just yet. Because if I do jump ship, I can't really expect all my friends there, to follow me here. But at the same time ... if I do need to jump ship, because the captain is steering us into a veritable hurricane, or because the first mate is raping another passenger, on the deck for all to see because he's not even afraid of consequences, or because the gunner is running around wearing a mask and stabbing people -- if it comes to that, I'd like to know that I'll be able to swim away, or swim to that secret boat I set up in case worse came to worst.

So here I am. Hoping to find a decent community here, like I once did there, like I once did at Xanga.

Here I am, hoping that a new place to call home can better inspire me when it comes to writing, too.

I know this post doesn't reveal much about me. I hope to have that come soon. But if you've read this post and you do want to know more, this username is my handle on several sites -- you can look it up on Livejournal (though on Xanga, you'll definitely find me by this name, but you'll find more under WeaselGirlW).

I'm just trying to get myself acclimated for the moment. I figure, there'll probably be a bit of a repeat, where I spend a good chunk of time double-posting (not necessarily cross-posting, mind you) and being active (or, at least, pseudo-active) on both sites. But if things keep going the way they're going over there, I can't imagine sticking around indefinitely.

Hello to anyone reading, and ... well, thanks for reading. :)


sonadora9: From Norman Rockwell's "Girl in the Mirror" (Default)

October 2010

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